Slave to the Sleeve

Knitting two stockinette sleeves at the same time is incredibly boring.  I like the Rowan Felted Tweed and I like the Harry Potter pattern, but this is dullsville.  It probably hasn't helped that I got the cold that's going around, so I have the initiative of a sloth.  Still, I bet that after I wrap all of the Christmas presents that I have left to wrap (which would be all but two presents), stockinette will be looking like a tall pint of Guinness to me.

I did have a thought on the intarsia initials on the HP sweaters.  I knit mine on a circular needle and didn't have any trouble with the intarsia, but I wonder if knitter who tend to pull the yarn too tight in intarsia might be better off knitting on straight needles.  I know that it is easy to get the stitches bunched closely together on circulars, whereas on straights they do tend to stay spaced further apart (provided your needles are long enough to hold your project).  Does this seem like it might work?  I don't think I'm totally crazy on this one, because I seem to recall either Meg Swansen or someone who has been to one of her knitting camps writing about a woman who knits all of her colorwork in the round, inside out, so that the yarn not actively being knitted is stretched further, thus eliminating puckering.

I was reading the Jaywalker KAL update that Cara did, and I'm rethinking the process.  These socks seem to be rather tight, and people don't seem to like knitting on larger needles, and for someone with very normal sized feet, DH has a large instep, so I'm really going to have to work something out for him.  I can't knit a third pair of socks for him that ultimately end up being too small, so the advance planning is necessary.  Is anyone out there knitting larger Jaywalkers with the special larger sized instructions? 

A Christmas Story

Lots of bloggers have been sharing their Christmas traditions, and I will share the tradition of my husband's family.  Every December (but never on the 24th or 25th), one of DH's sisters has everyone over to her house for a couple of hours.  Light snacks are served, but no one in the family ever brings any food (except me).  Gifts are only given to the kids and to my MIL.  The family is never there in its entirety because someone is always not speaking to someone else.  No one ever says thank you when opening a gift, nor are thank you notes ever sent.  I did my very best to endure this for a few years, but I haven't gone to this event for at least 6-7 years.

This year DH took DD and I stayed home with DS (who is also sick).  When they returned home, DD walked into the house clutching the package with this doll in it.  I told DH that I didn't think that it was an appropriate gift for a four year old.  The package says it is for age six and up.  (Yes, it is a Br*tz doll.)  The package also says, "Get ready for a sizzlin' celebration in awesome eye-poppin' fashions; and hold on tight for a blowout that's sure to go all night, filled with late-night cruisin' and dance floor groovin'!"  Many tears ensued as DH and I tried to talk DD out of keeping this present.  Later that night DD told DH that she would trade the doll for Dora's Talking House.  I told her I was going shopping the next day and I'd get her that toy instead.  At that point, we were relieved that this skanky thing was going to be out of the house.  (We can't figure out what to do with it, though, as it seems wrong to give this sleazy thing to a child we know or to Toys for Tots, so it sits in my closet. . . )

At 7:00 the next morning, DD was in our bed, telling me to get up and take her shopping.  It turns out this  Dora Talking House toy is difficult to find, according to my mother.  I finally found it way up high, where extra stock is kept on the highest shelves before being moved down.  Thank dog I'm tall and was wearing clogs, because I could just barely reach the bloody thing.  I know my petite mom couldn't have reached it if she had even managed to spot it way up there.  It wasn't until I got home that I looked at the receipt from the store. . . I had just paid $50 (Well, less, actually, but that was the current price -- I had a special coupon.) to replace a $10 slut doll.

If that wasn't enough, one of the presents that was given to DS was a baby Jesus board book.  I am absolutely gobsmacked -- a Jesus book for my son and a slutty doll for my daughter.  I think I am getting closer to understanding the psyche of females in DH's family, though.  They look and dress like Br*tz dolls, but they've got two things those dolls don't have -- a gold chain with a crucifix around the neck and a baby borne while still in high school.  There's more to this madonna/whore thing than I understand, but it's another piece of the puzzle.  Still, when it comes to fitting in with the in-laws, I'm happy to be on the Island of Misfit Toys.

My only regret is that Christmas with my family is never going to top DH's family celebration this year.  How could it?  Does anyone have a good story of a holiday celebration that was disastrous or funny or both?  It doesn't have to be Christmas.

Comments

[Kathleen]

So, basically, Merry Freaking Christmas! A slutty doll and Jesus book.

[Amy Boogie]

There is the celebration at my Grams a few years back.

There are a few members of my Mom's family that basically hate our family because they're selfish turds. My mom has tried to make peace with them several times but to no avail because well, they're selfish turds.

Still we all got together at my Grams because that's what she wants. This year it was all cordial and stilted and quiet as usual. My family left with the others still being there and just as the door shut we heard "woohoo! yay!" the music was turned up and they started to 'party'.

It was all done for our benefit I'm sure because all it did was piss of my Gram and now we no longer have those get togethers. She said they stayed until she insisted she was going to bed. We know how late they stayed because she lives in an apartment joined to my mom's house.

Isn't family fun?
I'm glad you were able to find a solution to the Bratz doll. If it makes you feel any better about the price fo the Dora toy, most of the Bratz range between 20 and 30 (My older niece collected them).

[Jenn]

Ugh - I HATE those things too - The Girl likes them (of course!) and her mom lets her have them, but our rule is that they are not allowed in our house. So far we haven't had any trouble (and no, she doesn't know about the rule - she asked for one last week and we talked about what kind of message a doll that is called a brat sends). I'm sure it's about to get worse though - she's almost 8 and her mom already dresses her like she is a slutty doll. Blech.

[jessica~]

Ugh, a Jesus book and a slutty doll. Sounds like that fam has a few issues.

That green tweed is so pretty!

[Carolyn]

Well, my story is not nearly as good, but my in-laws complain every year about the way I wrap presents. They don't like it that I tape the paper to the box. Whatever. So, this year, just to be mean, I put two pieces of tape on some presents. A little passive-agressive, I know, but it keeps me sane.

This year they gave my 2 year old her first Barbie. I'm not sure what to do about it yet. I don't think of Barbie quite the same as the Bratz dolls, but I certainly don't think a Barbie is age appropriate for a 2 year old. She's not so interested in it anyway, so maybe I will just put it away for a few years. Is it so freaking hard to buy wooden blocks?

[Beth]

Is your DH's family and my SIL's family related? My brother is my SIL's second husband and my nephew is the light of my mother's life (good thing too, 'cause *I'm* not giving her grandkids!). But the SIL had her first child at 16 (with her first husband), as did her mother, and her grandmother. I figure there's no hope for her daughter (12 going on 40).

Both my SIL and her daughter dress like those awful dolls at family occasions and if the conversation isn't focused on their wonderful lives they are sullen and pouty. I dread our family get-togethers. Our family is tiny but I was so happy last year when my brother and SIL were separated. Too bad they got back together. My brother is far too forgiving and good to her. He deserves so much better.

[Christina]

Oh those dolls are so awful! I'm very glad that the nieces don't know anything about them yet. I can't even imagine what someone was thinking for a 4 year old. It's like those awfully tacky "Bootylicious" shorts they were selling at WalMart a few years ago for kids. What is wrong with these people?

[PJ]

HAHAHA!! This all cracks me up!....it's so real!...and that is why it's so great!
It's is really amazing how this Christmas time just really brings out feelings in us and we ALL have them! This holiday has really become something it shouldn't...in more ways than one. Hey, maybe we should all knit a little scarf or poncho for all the Bratz dolls we know!

[Judy]

Ugh, sounds like the Christmas "party" at my (now ex, thankfully) in-laws. Except that at theirs, all the kids in my generation are out back getting drunk as fast as they can ("Daddy" doesn't allow smokin' or drinkin', and they are all too immature to either stand up to him or give up the hooch for an afternoon...and we are talking people who are in their 40's and 50's! Can we all say 'dysfunctional?') while the littler kids are indoors screaming and throwing wrapping paper all around. Loads o'fun. Oh, and the presents my kids always got were of the cheapest possible quality, thank goodness, because they barely lasted until we got home. Man, I am SO glad to be done with that crew!!

[maryellen]

Just for your information if the doll is lonely in the closet they make bratz ponies. yes they take a cute little pony and morph it into a slut pony just like the doll. Plus added 3 dollars to the price. Motherhood is such fun sometimes. i'm lucky daughter number one wanted the amazing Amanda doll as it has the same name and Mehgan wanted a cold nose pup.

[Christine]

Kuods to you, kiddo, for standing firm! I have always thought those were hideous! Fortunatley, my daughter was too old when they came out! Dora is much more appropriate!

Merry Christmas!

[Norma]

Hideous. Just hideous.

[margene]

Merry Christmas to you Susan!! Some people are walking contradictions but you handle it all well.
Peace, love and joy to you and your family.